“How beautiful it is to do nothing, then rest afterwards.” – Spanish proverb
Today marks the beginning of the last weekend of self-imposed quiet. And I’m not quite sure how I feel about it.
There are many things I miss — I miss my friends, I miss my family, I miss that buzz you get when you’re in a busy crowded place. I miss being out, I miss getting dressed up (or at least putting make-up on).
But this quiet that I’ve lived in for the past month has done wonders for me. I could say it’s just the food, but it’s not. It’s a combination of many things — the food, the rest, the meditation, the yoga, the quality time spent with my cat. It has provided much needed space for me in a life that sometimes feels like it’s spinning outside of my control.
It’s nice to just take 30 days and be quiet. Do nothing — not even clean your house. To just stop and realize that nothing needs to be done, nobody is expecting you anywhere, and even if they did, it doesn’t matter. It feels great to go to bed at 9pm on a weekend night, to wake up early with the sun on a Sunday morning and go to the farmer’s market (your social event of the week), or to just lay in bed for hours at a time. It feels good to spend an hour on dinner during the week because you know you have the time.
Perhaps I am anxious to get back to my life. My girlfriends are heading off for a girl’s weekend today and I’m staying at home. Yes, this makes me a bit sad. But I need this one last weekend for this feeling, this space, to sink in. I need to make sure that I can come back here whenever I need it, whenever life starts to spin out of control again and I feel like I can’t find myself.
I started this month thinking it was all about the diet, all about denying myself certain things. What I didn’t realize is what I would gain.
“Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.”
― Eckhart Tolle
What new is coming? Well, knowing that would take the fun out if, wouldn’t it?